lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
