I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
