If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
my sisters under your porch take her home
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She's the barista slut.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
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