That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
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He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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