I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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