Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
