he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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