If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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