So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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