Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
