His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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