I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
