Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
