Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
