The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
