My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
