You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
