You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
how drunk are you?
Several
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
