trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm passing your future prison.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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