He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
