spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
and she was petting her beer can
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
