if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
