Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
