You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
