For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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