I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
