I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
PANTIES FOUND
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