Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
