You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
