Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
