the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
