i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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