i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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