I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
