OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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