i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
