I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
