Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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