Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
