"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
