Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
