Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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