You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
