Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
