this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
