My sheets look like a crime scene.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
