No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
