Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
