i would punch a child for taco bell
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
