They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
