No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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