Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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