I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
