Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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