Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's shark week go big or go home
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
