i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
