he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
