i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
