i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
