i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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